After a few false starts, it seems like summer is finally upon us (although I just looked at the weather for next week and it doesn’t look like it’s sticking around for much longer. We had a good week). Don’t get me wrong, I love summer. I love being able to be outside, I love BBQs – give me aaaaallll the halloumi. I love how much more sociable life is in the summer. But I do have some real hates with summer.
Sometimes all I want is to curl up with a hot chocolate under the duvet and watch the snow. And we’re not getting that in summer (well, not this summer anyway).
On Friday I came to the realisation that I have a way to stay in control of my life. In a world where I am forced to take medication to help with my depression and anxiety, have to hand in work to strict deadlines, must eat healthily and exercise regularly to stay at an ideal weight, and feel pressured to conform to so many different standards, I have one way to stay in control of my life.
But it’s not a sensible way or a healthy way.
Something I think around 70% of bloggers strive for is the appearance of being ‘perfect’ on social media. They have to have a pinterest worthy house, a row of MAC lipstick neatly somewhere in the IKEA Alex drawers, and to have their white Olympus Pen E-PL7 slung loosely on their shoulder.
But I am far from perfect. This post is me.
If you follow me on twitter, you’ll be very much aware of what happened to me last week. And if you don’t, well firstly you’re missing out because I’m hella witty (I’m not), but secondly, you won’t know that I spend 4 days in hospital. Ah yes, the joys of an emergency hospital admittance.
I literally wanted to do a quick update post since I wasn’t able to collect my mail until yesterday, which is what I needed for today’s post. And yes, those are disgusting cankles that came about from hospital socks (I promise I don’t have cankles irl).
Back in November, it was suggested that I attended an NHS run ‘Stress Management’ course as it’s always been apparent that my mental health flares when I am particularly stressed. My anxiety goes through the roof, my depression hits all-time lows and I feel just outright shitty when I’m under stressful situations. Exams are a definite no-go for me most, if not all, of the time.
My place on the course was confirmed at the start of January – six weeks of 90 minute sessions – and I thought it’d be interesting to document how I felt upon leaving each session. So this post has been written over a course of six weeks to work out whether this course was useful or not.
After running a little poll on twitter about what post you’d like to see today, I’m writing a little Mental Health update. And it’s not going to be pretty.
I’m not okay. I know it. I’m not okay.