27 Thoughts I Have At The Clinic

I’m 21, in a long-term relationship, and big shock: I’m sexually active. Thanks to this and my current distaste for infants, I have to go to the sexual health clinic to keep myself from getting pregnant.


Up until recently, I had to go every few months to get some more contraceptive pills (about a month ago I took the plunge, or the scalpel, and got the implant) and I always have the same thoughts every single time I go into the clinic.

  1. Why am I so nervous? I’ve done this a hundred times
  2. Why is it so god damn hot in here?
  3. Why is it always so busy in here?
  4. And why the hell are we fighting for front row seats to watch Loose Women on the tiny screen?
  5. Did that girl just ask for the morning after pill? She is half my age
  6. Oh my god what if I’m pregnant?
  7. Oh my god what if I have chlamydia?
  8. Should I ask for a full sexual health screening?
  9. No that’s stupid I’m clean
  10. But what if I’m pregnant?
  11. I guess I should check twitter to pass the time
  12. And facebook
  13. And instagram
  14. Please remove your crying baby, I came here to get away from them
  15. And back to twitter
  16. And facebook
  17. And instagram
  18. Why is everybody in here so young and looking so guilty?
  19. Do I look young and guilty?
  20. Please let me go in soon before everyone can see me going bright red
  21. God the signs are depressing in here
  22. Oh look another baby just what I wanted
  23. It’s like they plant them here to scare people into using contraception
  24. If so it’s bloody well working
  25. I’ve been here for 40 minutes this is ridiculous. Do they only have one nurse in this seventh level of hell?
  26. Even the people working here are depressing. Smile a bit, it’s not like you’re the ones with the STIs
  27. Thank god it’s my turn to go in. Get me out of here!

Thankfully I’ve managed to remove this issue for the next three years, but I’m sure all the thoughts and feelings will come rushing back next time I have to go.

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